12 Steps to a Kinder Gentler World

Reposted from World Future Society.


Gene Stephens

Why is the world in such disarray? Why do so many people hate? Why can’t we all just get along?

All good questions; are there any good answers? Here I will outline a 12-Step Program that I believe can help create a kinder, gentler, and yes, a safer world, and—as an added benefit—a more interesting and vibrant global society. Finally, I will have a few suggestions for my own fellow countrymen (and women). Pretentious as this may seem, everyone has an opinion, and it is a duty of citizenship to share it if it might prove to be of some value. My life’s work has concerned how to improve society, so for what it’s worth, here’s my plan. If developed, this “good society” simply would not tolerate the endemic levels of poverty and disease in the world and would see it as the duty of all humankind to eradicate these problems.

The Twelve Steps

1.  Fully Embrace the Global Village. Clearly there is no turning back from the globalization of human society. The Information Age has thrown open the shutters around the globe; soon, even the most primitive tribes will be in touch with the rest of the world. This does not have to mean a loss of identity; instead it can lead to a far richer society, imbedded with the best of many cultures. Isolationism will no longer be possible; if we create the “good society,” it will no longer be desirable.

2.  Recognize the Homogeneity of the Human Race. Anthropologists tell us there is one human race—that race, ethnicity, and physical differences are so minute they should play no role in separating humankind. Only culture separates one group from another, and culture is socially defined and can be socially redefined. To hate someone on the bases of color or appearance defies reason and logic; to hate on the basis of cultural differences is learned behavior and amenable to change (often a difficult but worthwhile process if it leads to symbiotic coexistence).

3.  Celebrate Cultural Diversity. As a would-be world traveler, I am well aware that one of the great joys of living is to immerse oneself in a new, exciting, and very different culture for a time. What a rich and satisfying experience it is to share the haggis with the Scots, view the Changing of the Guard at Buckingham Palace, worship in the grotto where St. John wrote the Book of Revelations, walk with the pilgrims on the road to Mecca, marvel at the indescribable beauty of the Taj Mahal. What a loss it would be to homogenize the world and lose all this diversity. This longing to celebrate and preserve heritage, to proudly show it to others, underscores the need for tolerance. If we value our own eccentricies, we must allow others theirs.

4.  Reject Harming Others in the Name of Religion. None of the world’s great religions—not Christianity, not Judaism, not Islam, not Buddhism, not Hinduism, not any—teaches that humans should harm other humans in the name of religion. Any claim to such a calling is based on either a misinterpretation or a deliberate twisting of the teachings for secular purposes. While poverty and pride provide fertile ground for calls to “Kill the Infidel,” such messages are still heresy, not the word of any God; thus no credence should be given to such claims.

5.  Nip Violence in the Bud. Whereas aggression and violence are major contributors to the history of humankind, today they are simply difficult-to-discard relics of the past. Until we all become vegetarians, violence against domesticated animals, and wild game in some cases, likely will continue, but violence by one human against another would not be tolerated if we were a truly civilized people. Violence today, then, is a product of culture, not heredity or necessity. The only way to change this pattern is to nip violence “in the bud”—make it unacceptable behavior and use proven socialization techniques to inculcate this belief in all future generations. Recently released was an evaluation of 88 studies over 62 years of corporal punishment by parents, in which the researchers concluded “spare the rod, improve the child.” Children who are not spanked, it was found, behaved better toward others and in school, and grew up to have better marriages, earn more money and live happier, more productive lives. Another study found that every known serial killer had instances of child abuse in his background. From the Yale studies in the 1950s forward, it has been found that children exposed to real or media-presented violence were more aggressive and accepting of violence as a problem-solving strategy than those who were exposed less.

6.  Stop Fearmongering. Media and government often seem addicted to “fear” as a problem solver and funding facilitator. Fear permeates life in many countries, and media-created fear is being exported worldwide. Fear of crime and terrorism = funding and support for law enforcement and other government and quasi-private agencies (e.g., security); fear of anthrax, AIDS, and other communicable diseases=increased money for health and environmental protection groups. Fear also threatens liberty, as faced with a seeming choice between death or injury versus free speech and privacy, many will choose safety at any cost. Whereas there is certainly reason for concern, and caution is always prudent, the fears are too often exaggerated to reap rewards—viewers, listeners, tax dollars, consumer purchases. Fearmongering has socially impoverished many communities (e.g., downtowns abandoned after dark; citizens unwilling to talk to strangers; neighbors suspicious of one another). Remember, media and government exist to “serve” the needs of the people; the airways belong to “the people”, as does the government in a democracy.

7.  Seek Justice, Reject Retribution. Many mistake revenge for justice. Retributive punishment is portrayed in media and political rhetoric as the “only” legitimate response to crime and harm. Yet only l in 5 major crimes in America leads to arrest and only 3 of 100 results in conviction, primarily because of this emphasis on “making the offender pay,” usually with time behind bars. This reactive system punishes taxpayers more than anyone else; it certainly does not protect society. Only proactive, preventive systems can make us safe. The emphasis must change from war and punishment as the answer to crime and disorder to peace and restoration. Police must serve the communities by working with citizens to identify and evaluate problems likely to result in crime and develop and implement action plans to alleviate those threats. Community-based courts must use mediation and arbitration to settle criminal and civil disputes and require restorative measures—restitution to victim, community service, and competency development—by offenders. Prisons or constant electronic monitoring should be reserved for the predator criminals—e.g., murderers, rapists, career robbers and burglars. Again, society has been a victim of sensationalizing and fearmongering by media here, as the crimes feared most—murder and rape—together represent less than 1% of serious crime in America and less than l/10th of l% of all reported crime.

8.  Adopt Peace Models. No one really wins wars; there are only differing degrees of loss. Citizens of the world want “peace in the ’hood” rather than “war.” Peace will only come, however, when we are willing to give up pursuing “justice” for every real or perceived wrong done to us. Everyone wants to be a “victim” and deny any contributory role in the grievous situation. Truth is most issues have some aspects of victimization and perpetration by all parties; there are few “innocent” victims. Seeking neutral ground and compromise, then, becomes a rational and appropriate response to “wrongs” done to you or your people. With the goal being to stop the harm, negotiations in good faith can usually provide the peace being sought—as long as each past transgression does not become a stumbling block all over again. Call it forgiveness, mercy, or simply forbearance, each side gains by the process, as fair resolution of the crisis strengthens the peace negotiated.

9.  Judge Success by Benefit to Humanity. Success judged in terms of monetary wealth, “things” acquired, titles earned, honors bestowed, etc., often leave the beneficiary with a hollow feeling. The self-centered life is often celebrated, especially in a capitalistic society, as an example of what one can do by perseverance—”pull yourself up by your bootstraps”–but self-actualization often requires more—a larger sense of purpose, the satisfaction that comes from contributing to the collective good. In a market economy, business, government, and media constantly spotlight the individual who triumphed in the arena of capitalism—the CEO, the movie or television actor, the rock star, the ballplayer, and when one of these “successful” people gives money to a charity, builds a hospital wing, or helps in some other way, the incident is cast as an extraordinary example of good will and concern—proof that those who win monetarily deserve their wealth. In reality, it is only when they share the wealth that they truly feel successful; why not just judge success by benefit to humanity—a standard that would demand reevaluation of those whose wealth comes at the detriment of humanity (e.g., from illegal or unethical business practices) but then is returned in part to benefit others.

10.  Enjoy the Rewards of Altruism. Anyone who has ever adopted the “random acts of kindness” philosophy can tell you how deeply rewarding anonymous gifts to others can be. Doing something for someone else at least once a day—just because you can and it will help that person—will provide more instant and continued satisfaction than any honor that could be bestowed. It becomes a safe and beneficial high for the individual and a boon to society—a “win-win” approach that can transform the “mean streets” into a “kinder, gentler world” for both giver and recipient. One of the best ways to turn a youth-at-risk (e.g., from poverty or delinquency) into a mature, productive, law-abiding citizen is to give him/her the opportunity and responsibility to help others—tutor younger children, read to the elderly, care for dogs and cats at the local pound, plant flowers in the park. In public opinion polls, youth have overwhelmingly responded positively to the statement, “Every citizen has a responsibility to society to perform volunteer work,” and a majority favor requiring a period of community service for all young persons. We need to “hook” our youth on altruism, and then follow their example ourselves.

11.  Appeal to the “Bright” Side of Human Nature. Human beings have the capacity for enormous good and horrendous evil. The capacity for either is within us all—the reason so many say “he seemed like such a nice young man” of the serial killer next door. Whether good or evil predominates is largely a product of environmental influence—of conditioning, stimulus-response. Children reared on operant conditioning from birth—rewarding acceptable behavior with positive attention and largely ignoring the unacceptable—seldom create havoc in society; they are more likely to contribute to the greater good. Whether we like to believe it or not, a plethora of research supports the conclusion that human behavior is largely a product of socialization, with individuals taking their cues from significant others and the world around them. Whereas it may be difficult to quantify the direct impact of inordinate attention to violence and criminality and the glorification of celebrities and their wealth in both news and entertainment media, it must play a major role in the socialization process. Why do we consciously appeal to the “dark” side of human nature and then deny any responsibility for the consequences. Individual responsibility is an important principle of democracy, but conditioning citizens to be irresponsible is irresponsible.

12.  Rethink and Reinforce the “Golden Rule.” Some variation of the “Golden Rule” of Christianity is found in all of the world’s great religions; the maxim is held to be a universal truth. In Matthew 7:12 it is stated that: “All things whatsoever ye would that man should do to you, do ye even so to them; for this is the law and the prophets.” In Judaism, it’s: “What is hateful to you, do not to your fellow man. That is the entire Law; all the rest is commentary.” In Islam: “No one of you is a believer until he desires for his brother that which he desires for himself.” In Buddhism: “Hurt not others in ways that you yourself would find hurtful.” Clearly the kinder, gentler, safer world being sought requires concern for others. In the multicultural world of today, it might be that the Golden Rule might better be interpreted as: “Do unto others as they would have you do unto them,” recognizing the individual and cultural differences in lifestyles desired. The never-ending quest for world peace requires development of this empathy among humankind.

Extra Steps for Americans

As an American, I see some extra steps that we need to take if a kinder, gentler, safer world is to be created. Recently numerous columnists have called for America to accept the mantle of “empire,” and unilaterally, if necessary, bring democracy and capitalism to every corner of the globe. First, we need to remember the fate of past empires—all rose and all fell under the weight of world domination; all left a mixed legacy. Second, and more important, we need to use our power to lead, not to dominate. Third, we need to back off from efforts to Americanize the world culturally—a certain target for hate and terrorism. We need to lead by example. To do that, we need to take at least the following three steps:

1. Give Up the Frontier Mentality. We’ve been a nation for more than two centuries. Today most Americans live in urban areas—in or near a population center. Self-reliance, weapons, and survival of the fittest might have been assets on the frontier; indeed they played a significant role in wresting control of the land from Native Americans and European monarchs. Without debating the merits versus the evils of the frontier, it is now time to move on. We need to learn to compromise and create symbiotic neighborhoods rather than rely on politics and guns to gain advantage over others. Our world and the larger global village are too crowded for dog-eat-dog competition to decide everything from zoning regulations to nuisance ordinances, and for the use of money and position to determine which activities will be allowed and which will be outlawed. There can only be “peace in the ’hood” when everyone’s needs and desires are attended.

 2.  Move Past Puberty. The 20th Century seemed to be a period of puberty for this young nation. We were youthful, vigorous, idealistic at times, and ready to prove ourselves against all challengers—like teenagers. Now it is time to accept the responsibilities of maturity. We can no longer excuse our brashness as indiscretions of youth; we must recognize our place in a world community and the leadership role imposed on us by our economic power. Acting like spoiled brats should no longer be an option. Let’s retire “the ugly American.”

3.  Lead by Example. Creating and expanding the “American empire” or dominating the world stage is counterproductive to creation of a kinder, gentler, and safer world. We can help ourselves and the rest of the world to alleviate the vast differences in human and economic resources that have led to impoverishment of hundreds of millions of the world’s people, while others live with abundance and some in opulence. We need to learn that the global village is just that—a village where the fate of all is integrally dependent on creation of a symbiotic relationship among all villagers. We need to eradicate poverty, racism, unfairness, and other inequities in our own society and eliminate our tendency to treat the rest of the world as our property—ripe for pillaging. We cannot continue to demand other nations respect human rights while we support dictatorships in order to protect our sources of cheap oil and slave labor to assure inexpensive textile goods. We cannot hypocritically bemoan immigration and vote to close the borders while our homes, gardens, and farms are tended by migrant workers forced to accept whatever we offer because of their illegal status. To lead by example, we must first act like responsible, mature, altruistic citizens of the world.


Dr. Gene Stephens is a Distinguished Professor Emeritus at the University of South Carolina, a consulting futurist who has served more than 300 organizations, and a contributing editor of The Futurist. His web site is www.thefuturegene.com and he can can be reached by email at stephens-gene@sc.edu or gstephens@thefuturegene.com.